Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
