I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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