You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
