Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
