im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
