Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize