So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
