well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
