i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
