Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
