there was a trapeze. enough said
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
