Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
