yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
