I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
