Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
