dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
