I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
