Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
