remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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