The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
how do flat chested girls get laid?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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