butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
