i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
