GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
