He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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