You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
