he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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