the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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