why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
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Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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