nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
