I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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