Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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