look no pants
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize