dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
