im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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