batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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