and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize