Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
