Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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