Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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