Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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