Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
and she was petting her beer can
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
