just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
