I think my vagina is haunted
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
