My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
