Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
