Pappa wants mamma naked
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
