I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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