Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?