Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.