Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

and the officer said have you been drinking

(864): View more from South Carolina

and i said NOO SIR.

(864): View more from South Carolina

and he said, I am a woman.

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(864): and the officer said have you been drinking (864): and i said NOO SIR. (864): and he said, I am a woman. http://tfl.nu/8g3i

Replies (19) Good night (1842) Bad night (6761)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.

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(617): it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before. http://tfl.nu/1u0r

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(571): View more from Virginia

Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..

(703): View more from Virginia

this can't be going anywhere good

(571): View more from Virginia

nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\

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(571): Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah.. (703): this can't be going anywhere good (571): nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\ http://tfl.nu/4i13

Replies (196) Good night (1775) Bad night (26511)
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(972): View more from Texas

I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"

(1-972): View more from Texas

More like "Chia Pet"

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(972): I just named my vagina "The Boneyard" (1-972): More like "Chia Pet" http://tfl.nu/ds7x

Replies (19) Good night (802) Bad night (5063) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...

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(703): something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas... http://tfl.nu/emnc

Replies (18) Good night (789) Bad night (7324) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with

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(541): I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with http://tfl.nu/nhts

Replies (41) Good night (1954) Bad night (4689) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget

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(916): i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget http://tfl.nu/82uy

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.

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(864): I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/wo9k

Replies (11) Good night (1702) Bad night (4757) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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(248): I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high... http://tfl.nu/j3oh

Replies (55) Good night (5654) Bad night (1295) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.

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(978): That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS. http://tfl.nu/x0o9

Replies (11) Good night (2975) Bad night (948)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.

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(503): Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate. http://tfl.nu/7ogi

Replies (13) Good night (2482) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....

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(317): I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it.... http://tfl.nu/0a1o

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(252): View more from North Carolina

i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.

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(252): i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass. http://tfl.nu/8dgj

Replies (1) Good night (201) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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(416): View more from Toronto

Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.

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(416): Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes. http://tfl.nu/v9h7

Replies (1) Good night (649) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex

(603): View more from New Hampshire

College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?

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(774): I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex (603): College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh? http://tfl.nu/q4kf

Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (137)

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