just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse