weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
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I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing