At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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