Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
