So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
