I only kidnapped one of them. chill
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
