it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
NoShamevember. You game?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize