DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
