Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
