Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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