that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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