its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
