Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
