We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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