I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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