so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
