Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
