found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
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Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
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Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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