I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
